"I wanted to try and create a piece of art that reflected a message about finding a purpose in life.
Existentialism speaks on trying to find your own purpose in a world that is absurd and meaningless.
It can be easy to feel as though things do not matter if we accept the concept of the absurd, however,
we must try and move past this realization and try and create our own meaning in a world where the time
we spend and relationships we create are truly real; where our decisions relatively do have very real impact.
This is not always an easy task however, and trying to find passion in life when everything feels pointless
can be a monumental task. For me, dealing with mental health whilst being in a college environment, where it
can feel like we have little to no time to pinpoint this purpose as we barrel towards the "real world," I had
many feelings that I wanted to convey through my project.
My piece conveys the way I often feel as a result of the monumental pressure of life leading into adulthood.
I often get lost with multiple passions and hobbies at point or another in an effort to find my "purpose" in this world.
I can sometimes be fully immersed into one hobby and yet suddenly feel distant and detached from it, as if I need to
discover some new purpose and passion. I tried to convey this through a portrait of myself where my eyes are being pulled
in two different directions whilst I hold my head together for dear life, symbolizing the mental toll of having your mind
being stretched so thin as you spread your effort and passion across multiple directions. In can quite literally be painful
to constantly put so much effort and care into one hobby only to realize at some point that it is no longer a passion of yours,
and worse, not your "purpose." I know this can happen to many people, but I feel like it happens to me all to often, as if I am
still child who can't decide between practicing karate or soccer. Every time I take steps down a new hobby, no matter how passionate
I feel about it, I always have the lingering fear that I will not stick it through and will suddenly lose love for whatever it may be.
It's a tiring, destructive cycle, that I pray I can one day break. I do have things I care about, such as my major, going to the gym, art,
and other such things, but I always fear I will never truly take them anywhere. Ultimately, this piece conveys the mind numbing struggle of
trying to find a purpose in a life that feels just a little pointless sometimes."
